Heavy Heart

I have a heavy heart today. In fact, I've found myself battling tears off and on all day. Tomorrow will be the one-year anniversary of my father's death. We have survived the year, and my mother and I are both much better, but oh, how it still hurts!

In addition, last night we learned the date and time of my dear friend's son's deployment to Iraq and it is imminent. His brother returned from there a year ago this week. How grateful we are for the service of both of these young men, but how we dread the long days, weeks and months ahead for the older one who is starting out soon on his endeavor in our behalf.

He did call his mom today to tell her he received a medal which is a very big deal and we are SO VERY PROUD of him! To RS: We love you and you are constantly in our thoughts and each thought of you is a prayer for your safety and wisdom in every task you take on.

Finally, the son of another of our dear friends died in a car accident a year ago also. He was 17 years old with an entire lifetime ahead of him. But the thrill of racing a car on a country road sucked him in. Teens think "It will never happen to me", but in his case, it did happen to him. He died instantly. Thursday I will attend the dedication of a memorial fountain erected at his elementary school.

Yes, God is still in control, and yes, His will and way are always perfect, but we are human and still experience sadness. Is there still joy in my life? Absolutely. God still gives me the joy that passes all understanding deep within me. There is still a peace within me and I am thankful for that. How would I survive without that faith and the real experiences I've had proving I am not alone? Very simply, I couldn't.

Sadness will pass, just as happiness sometimes fades. That is the difference between happiness and joy and between sadness and depression. Depression can set in and overwhelm, but for the grace of God. I thank God for His presence in my life - even on the bad days.