On Being Content

Not long ago, I wrote about being content. But how do you find contentment? The answer is that you stop looking for it.

It is not a trick to be content in whatever situation you are in, it is obedience. The Apostle Paul (a wise man educated by the Lord Himself) said in Philippians 4:11 "...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." He did not say, "Seek contentment." He specified that he had to take the bad with the good. If all was well, Paul was content. But even when he was jailed, tortured, abused for the name of Jesus, he remained content.

One of the saddest things I have watched was someone who sought happiness and contentment in things that were always just out of reach. I watched her lose a marriage, earthly possessions, and eventually another marriage. She is always certain the answer lies just on the other side of the fence. She had many difficulties in her early life, and seeking to deal with those through things - buying expensive toys, clothes, furnishings, etc. never gave her contentment. Trying to make people into her mind's image of them didn't bring her contentment. She is 46 years old and still expecting the world to make her happy.

Newsflash: No one else can make you happy - especially if you never allow anyone else to make you unhappy. Does that mean I am always happy? No. But I have to allow myself to be manipulated into losing my own contentment or happiness. I alone am responsible for my own state of mind. When I wallow, I wallow because I choose to. Even at my lowest points, my heart is at peace. My joy is complete because it rests in the Lord. I have to choose every day to take control of my own emotions and not be buffeted by the winds of the world. Am I always successful? No, but for the most part, I don't set myself up to be let down. I don't set the bar so high that people will always fail to meet it. Instead, I try to let them be the individuals that they are and not take it personally if they don't do what I expect on my terms.

In fact, I know I wouldn't want to measure up to someone else's standards for me. Isn't that fair? Do I let down some people sometimes? Yes. Do I want to be forgiven for that? Yes. Do I want to be set up for failure? No.

I had an opportunity to speak with a woman today whose 33-year-old brother died a week ago due to brain cancer. She misses him so much! I understand so well what she is experiencing, and I told her it's going to be okay. No, it will never be the same, and she will always miss him. As each of her children reaches a milestone in his or her life, she will miss sharing that with her brother. But we agreed that through the hurt and the sadness is a deeper joy. The joy of knowing that he is in heaven - no longer in pain, no longer paralyzed, no longer unable to speak. And as we sang, "Better is one day in His courts, Better is one day in His House, Better is one day in His courts Than thousands elsewhere," I knew she was singing it with conviction. That same assurance gave her the strength to sing a solo at her brother's funeral on Tuesday. And she told the congregation this morning that the only thing her brother would care about now is that each one know Jesus as he did.

That is absolute contentment. It doesn't mean emotions don't exist, but it means we rest in the Lord and know He is truly in control and nothing happens but that He allows it.

So be content. Don't look for it. It's already there. Even in the hard times, focus on the good things. They are there, just waiting to be recognized and appreciated.