Gaming in the Real World

I am 51 years old. I look around me at my daughter and son and their friends and I am grateful not to be that young again. Something has happened to our society and it isn't good. Like the studies that show prolonged video game playing can de-sensitize children, and adults, to pain and death, I see a generation that is so wrapped in themselves, they have no clue how their actions affect other people.

No doubt, everyone has to spend a little time thinking of self and about self-preservation. But I am amazed that otherwise "good" people, particularly professing Christians can justify bad behavior and heartless actions.

Under the guise of "honesty", one person feels perfectly free to insult and condemn anyone in her path. Forgoing direct instruction from the New Testament, she can use any foul, profane and derogatory language she chooses in her rant. I'm sorry, I believe I need to strive for the prize at all times. I need to be aware of how my actions and words appear to others because I am ALWAYS a representative of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Whether I reflect well or badly for Him is my responsibility every moment of my life. It's a huge responsibility.

In addition, in an effort to remain pure in today's single society, and I'll grant you that's a difficult task today, many are striving for physical and emotional purity. But in so doing, some have taken callousness to a new height. If you read my daughter's updates on Twitter, you know that she sent a friend, not a boyfriend, not someone she is dating, but just someone she had befriended a card with a funny hat photo in it. He decided the communication was "unhealthy" and led to his being "unfaithful in thought to his future spouse". What a crock!

Apparently, friends are not allowed in this person's life. And I don't know how most people feel about finding a spouse, but I know from experience that first and foremost, I am married to my friend. Some days we are better friends than others, but there is no one in the world that I depend on more or cherish more. I know I can count on him and trust him, and that came from years of developing that friendship. We fell in love first, then became friends. Believe me, it would have been easier in reverse. I have encouraged my children to develop friendships and know that at some point, God will reveal to them the stronger emotions and commitments to grow out of one of those friendships.

In the meantime, there is no cause or excuse for being cruel. My daughter's "friend" actually returned her card with his note. It arrived on Saturday. She thought, "How fun. He sent me a card too." What a blow! Throw it away and send the note to arrive today. That would have been understandable and acceptable. But his way was just uncalled for. The realization that this young man was capable of such a selfish and mean action told her that she didn't want to have anything else to do with him. And I concur. She deserves better than that.

Someday, she hopes to marry. I continue to pray for her to find that special person God has set aside just for her. I hope she never has to go through such pain again, though I realize that pain is a part of life on earth, but I hope she builds friendships with people who are real and attempt to act as Christ acted while on earth. I hope she finds people who can be honest without being cruel. I hope she concentrates on what she brings to the table as a friend and looks past the ones who have hurt her and learns from the experience.

And I told my son he'd better not ever do anything so hurtful to a young woman in his life. I feel just as strongly about the way in which he conducts his life and friendships. Some tough things have to be said in life, no doubt. But the same things can be expressed with tact and grace and still be effective. It's time to put "piety" aside and recognize that we live in the real world. Everyone has feelings, and unlike a video game, hurts don't last for the few seconds it takes to reset the game and start again. Every action we take has a reaction in the world. Every word we speak has a consequence. Every hurt we inflict leaves a scar.

Finally, the words "I am sorry" carry great weight. Even hearing those words from the two people who have recently hurt my daughter would not wipe out everything. In the case of the young woman, my daughter would probably pick up the pieces and remain on friendly, though guarded terms. Nothing would change the situation with the young man, because the hurts inflicted are indicative of a heart problem that she needs to steer clear of, but all of us need to learn the fine art of apologizing for our actions. We owe it to the ones around us and to ourselves.

As you go through this week, remember that we live in a real world and don't fall into the temptation of "gaming" your way through it.