Psalm 46:10

I don't always have a "verse for the year", but this year, God has brought one into my life by showing me a wider interpretation of it than I'd seen previously.

"Be still and know that I am God." I'd always focused on the "Be still" portion of the verse. I am a Type-A personality. Fix it and move on. I like to be doing something all the time. If I'm watching television, I'm reading or knitting at the same time. If I have to wait somewhere, I take knitting or reading with me to make the time pass quicker. To be still and listen for God's voice is a challenge.

But recently, God showed me that the rest of the verse is paramount in my life and in my walk with Him. "...know that I am God." Trying to find a way to solve life's problems has caused me to many times put myself on the same level as God in thinking that I hold the key to making all things right. I've usurped His authority and His godliness by thinking that I can do His job for Him. I've tried to become God and failed to let Him BE God.

So I am working on that. An ongoing battle? You betcha! I look at a broken relationship in my life and think, "What did I do wrong? How can I fix this? What do I need to do?" And accepting that I HAVE to wait for God to work this through for Hisglory is killing me. I long to have things made right, but I don't know how to step back and let God make it right without my interference. And as the tears stream down my face this morning and I struggle to let go of the worrying and the fretting to think of SOMETHING I can do that will help the situation, my real battle is with myself. I MUST be still and know that GOD is God, not Donna.

Thank you, my precious friend, Kim, for the necklace you had made for me with Ps. 46:10 on it. Thank you, my loving and insightful son, for the plaque you gave me at Christmas. Both serve as constant reminders that I am NOT in control, and that is as it should be. The timing is not of my choosing, but one day, I believe, things will be better and I am longing for that day, but I am going to back away and allow it to come in God's timing and for His glory.